Long story cut short (warning: it’s still long),  I was busy. I started to hit the pedal back in Chikka country, trying to do what I felt will help the company… and it didn’t quite work well. People there are very talented and everyone has their own vision (myself included)… company politics might have ruined everything (just my take on that).

While trying to be a hero, I started freelancing on the side and met several cool people. I guess one way to shift my frustrations for not having to do some stuff was to do it on some other projects. I was doing quite well (at first) but the stress was really killing me. Four hours of sleep was common, some nights I didn’t get to sleep at all. I admit, as much as I loved what I was doing it was really affecting my work, my lifestyle, and of course my health.

Then I decided to just hit the reset button and resign… the feeling of looking for a new job (which by the way is the first skill I tried to master - totally different from web development/design skills) was priceless and the thrill is just awesome. I had several good prospects, to mention a few, a friend of mine who built his own start-up was asking me to jump to his boat (very cool indeed),  another option is a freelance contact of mine who’s asking me to lead a company he’s starting (with a nice pay to boot), and another slightly larger start-up company who’s deeply interested in my skills.

I am really sad for leaving Chikka. I always thought I’d do well there. Met a lot of friends and overall it was a great experience. But I remember from my previous post, good things never last… better things will come! Just when I was gonna make my decision on which option to take a friend of mine, Fred the destroyer, who works in Singapore mentioned that he’s leaving his current company and that they will be looking for a replacement. One of the main reason I took up IT in college was the opportunity to work abroad and so I took the chance and applied. I was lucky! (thanks to Fred btw)

So here I am now, working as a front-end developer in Singapore for the coolest company I’ve ever been (yet) reaching deep from my programming days while doing acid test to my brain as I take on pure front-end work with javascript+xhtml+css plus oop in php. It’s sad that I have to be separated from my family (for the mean time as I plan to get them here soon) but I think that this move in my career has made me a better developer/designer and might have opened me for better opportunities in the future.

So many things has happened since my last post and now I feel like I can start blogging again. I’m closing this blog however since I’ll be starting a new techie blog (this blog has become too personal) where I plan to share some random thoughts, ideas, tips, tricks, and some skills I learned along the way. I seem to have developed a hobby for learning new stuff and old stuff properly these past few weeks (imagine my loneliness)… but it’s a good thing I suppose.

Please visit my new blog at http://blog.mongeslani.com starting next month (still under development).  Again, thanks to everyone and kudos to you all! Good luck o everyone.

This might be the last time I showcase Guilherme Marconi’s great works, either I move to another favorite artist or if I have enough time, create new artworks again.

I have a feeling that I’m starting a bad habit of posting only once a week. Every thing’s fast paced in my life right now and I can see myself getting left behind. Sometimes I see myself doing five or more things at the same time (I might switch my brain to a Pentium processor soon for multi-tasking). Am I losing direction again? I wonder…

Anyway, I want to stay focused and really do things I like or things that will contribute to what I want to achieve in the future. I tried to think of all the things that I wanted to do (I mean I really tried - nosebleed). But after listing everything, I literally ran out of pages to write on in my college notebook (I seldom took notes back in college - xerox king!). It was confusing at first but I realized I only want one thing in life… tan-tan-tan-tan! I want to be happy (well, who doesn’t?).

As a self-proclaimed master of ninja art, I made a game plan. Now becoming happy is inevitable. So here’s a list of how I plan to be happy; you should follow it too so we can make this place a one big happy world…

1. Laugh more - especially at myself
   This is far easier for some people… they can just buy a mirror (joke). A constant dose of laughter makes everything a lot easier.
   
2. Treat my body right
   This is probably the hardest, I already quit being a smoker (or should I say frequent smoker) but I think my success falls short (somewhat). I no longer smoke as frequent as before but strangely enough, I sometimes find myself smoking again (just one stick) whenever I’m alone contemplating (and that’s not too often). So I guess I need more work (darn it).
3. Invest my resources in things of lasting value
   True. Not just finances but more importantly time, love, and energy simply because the reward is tenfold.
4. Give myself a break
   And that’s exactly what I’ve done during the past week and surprisingly enough, there’ll be lots of times to rest again next week. My advice, don’t overdo this one.
   
5. Consistently cultivate times of solitude
   I most certainly agree. It’s very important to spend time with yourself and think about your life, career, plans, and whatnot.
   
6. Thank someone!
   I’m starting this right away… Thank you for making time to read my posts. :)
7. Choose to see the best in others
   I had a post about being pessimistic and optimistic, and although there are some benefits of being a doubter (like evading bullshit), I may actually be happier by choosing to see the best in others, and who knows I might end up with tons of new friends.
   
8. Guard my rest
   Happiness is not just for things that you do that make you happy, but also for things that enables you to make the things that you do (still there?). And rest is as important as doing things that make us happy (helooo?).
   
9. Start something and finish it
   This is probably the most significant item for me. I have started a lot of things lately, I only need to finish them. And since I realized that finishing them will make me a lot happier, I am more driven to complete them.
10. Recognize that happy is a choice
    Yes, I am choosing to be happy.
11. Do something nice for someone and do it first
    To be genuinely happy, one must not only seek happiness in himself but also provide happiness for others.
12. Contact an old friend and get reacquainted
    If you are my friend and just so happens that we haven’t been seeing or talking to each other lately (and you feel that we’re having a fallout), can you please contact me immediately so we can get reacquainted… please?
    
13. Pursue a long neglected dream
    Let’s see. When I was young, I changed dreams as much as I changed briefs (and yes I change them often), It might take a while to realize what other dreams I want to pursue since I’m pursuing my current dream right this very moment.
    
14. Make a new friend
    To you, who is reading this, if you’re still not my friend, you might want to try to e-mail, comment, or send me a message. Then we can be friends (I’m actually very dependable).
    
15. Take time to think through important decisions
    I should have done this in a lot of times but it’s never too late for anything…
    

Honestly, I got this cool list from the book “If I really wanted to be happy I would…“; I picked the things I like most and thought of sharing it to you cool people. There is a Part II to this post so if you like this one I’m sure you’ll like the second one too…

Also, a friend has shared me a secret… I haven’t seen it yet but he says it’s very insipring and I could get a lot from it. So kudos to you ricecake! Glad you’re well and bubbly again.

It’s the end of the week. I wanted to organize my life ever since the year started, tried lots of things and they really worked (really). I started a lot of stuff, felt that I was going somewhere, changed bad habits and started good ones, then after everything I felt I needed a break.

I admit I got burned out. I’m feeling lazy about a lot of things, I had a chance to do a lot of things too but I chose not to. I just wanted to be lazy (for a while). This is not another sad post, I think it is a good reminder that everybody needs rest. Time is very important but we must also learn to take a time off.

So it has been a week of pure laziness and honestly I don’t think I wasted any time. It was fun but next week I need to get back on track. Anyway here’s a nice quote for everyone; I remembered one line (back from my college days), and googled for the rest.

Desiderata by Max Ehram

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant, they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are a vexation to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter,
For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
Many persons strive for high ideals,
And the world is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
No doubt the universe is unfolding out as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
Keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
It is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

PS: It’s Fred’s last day at work. I can never feel sad about him leaving our company, he’s one of the greatest… and perhaps he deserves better things. Kudos my friend, may we meet at the top.

A lot has happened this week. I’m so busy I couldn’t find time to make my own artworks (how sad). I even bought a time management book but I couldn’t seem to follow its daily tasks. Anyway, I’m having a blast “trying” to initiate change at work but I’m a little disheartened by how things work there…

Imagine making the farmers harvest what the fishermen planted (I know… you’re confused ~ I am too)

I try to look at the glass half full, but I’m having second thoughts if I should have just looked at it half empty. In software development, people say that:

When things are doing well, something will go wrong. When things are going wrong, something will get worse.

And I know thats sooo pessimistic, but no matter how hard you try to make things right, it won’t happen if there are people who are also trying hard to make things worse. When do you say enough is enough? I’m not sure, but I’m beginning to feel the urge to move on (again? oh well).

Also related to the topic, there’s another big rally going on in Makati today, and I am not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Yes I believe that corrupt government officials have no right to stay in service, but I don’t know if the people has anybody in mind to run the country after the President steps down (IF she steps down).

On the half full side of the week, my friends (Daryll, Meo, Fred, Nap, and Gian) took on the Yoshinoya Gyudon Eating Challenge yesterday. The person who eats the most Gyudon in 20 minutes wins. Man, they fought a tough fight. View the battle scene here (don’t forget to click options, at the lower right-hand corner, and check the show title and description tickbox) or watch the video here.

I gave Dofus a shot (too cute flash-based MMORPG) and it’s a lot of fun. Things aren’t as bad as it sounds but it could be a lot better. I guess I’m a saint for trying to convince myself to look at things positively (for now).

Anyway, the highest reward for a man’s toil is not what he gets for it but for what he becomes by it. Adios!

Men do not trip over mountains, they trip over molehills.

Last Saturday I got to spend time with an old friend (together with some new friends and GrandMa). He needed a friend and I was there to listen… I’m usually great at giving advices but that time I didn’t know what to say.

You can not cure a blind man by increasing the light.

People make mistakes but there are times when we choose to make them. I made a lot of regrettable decisions in my life and I guess there’s nothing I can do to change whatever it is I’ve done but to move forward and learn from them. There’s no such thing as happy endings until you’re dead.

Guilt is regret for what we’ve done, regret is guilt for what we didn’t do.

There are always choices; either we feel guilty or we have regrets, in the end, it doesn’t matter. We have to take responsibility for our actions and accept the consequences for what we do. We need to pick ourselves every time we fall apart, and if we can’t, we can always ask for help… that’s why we make friends, that’s why we have families.

Last week I set myself on a journey to initiate good change in my career and my life. I’ve been productive the whole day and I can see that I’m going somewhere. Staying positive ain’t so bad after all.

During these past few weeks, I’ve been following the news. The loudest and probably the most disturbing one, if you haven’t had enough yet, is Jun Lozada’s testimony. There’s probably a handful of articles out there talking about the issue, about him, and about what he said during his interviews and on the senate so I’m not going to reiterate.

My take on the story, I think that a dog bites when he is cornered. No offense to anybody but I believe he is as much a part of the conspiracy as everybody else he’s accusing. Thank goodness he changed sides, now everybody knows how rotten the government really is. It sucks but I can’t help but feel really angry about everything that’s happening.

The government may boast that our economy’s growing, but government is not the generator of economic growth; working people are. I’m working my ass off paying my taxes and nothing is happening in my country, the poor just gets poorer.

I hope that Mr. Lozada continues to open our minds on what exactly is happening in our government and that the people, especially those who have the power to initiate good change, does something about it. May the force be with all of us.

— end of that —

So I’ve come up with a resolution. I’ve been troubled with a lot of things for the past weeks and I’ve finally come up with my decision… I’m deciding to stay (for now).

Thanks to Gian for trying to convince me. I know I can still do something about the things I’m complaining about. I’ve made a deal with myself; that is, to do whatever I can to initiate good change and only after I’ve done my part will I give up. It’s easy to make a buck. It’s a lot tougher to make a difference. And I never really choose the easy way nor go back on my words (that’s my ninja way).

It’s going to be tough, but I am confident in my skills. Lack of confidence is not a result of difficulty; the difficulty comes from  lack of confidence. I’m going to get a well deserved rest during this long weekend. Next week I start my journey.

“… he wanted to save whatever respect he still had in himself so he could save his soul.”

It’s been a while and there’s really no excuse why I haven’t posted yet. I’m still feeling miserable about a lot of things and I guess its time I move on. I’ve been thinking (really hard) about what I want to do with my career and after gaining multiple migraines and depression I am still undecided (bummer).

I just recalled this great strategy I picked up back from my M:tG days while playing control decks. That is, wait for the last possible moment before making your move (you don’t want to be responded to ~ addictus); so I guess I’ll just continue all the things I’m doing and just wait for the best time to decide (don’t want to be rushing anyway).

Here are some of the things I regret doing from last week:

1. Smoked two cancer sticks while chilling out at Libis with my buddies at Chikka (yes folks, I’m a sinner ~ let me burn in hell)
2. Promised my daughter to buy her some expensive toys if she drinks her medicine at the count of ten (I’m definitely gonna burn in hell now)

On a lighter side, despite all my tribulations I managed to do some neat stuff:

1. I added some plug-ins to this blog (almost crashed it)
2. Started designing my website (soon @ mongeslani.com)
3. Started designing my ninja blog site (soon @ webninja.mongeslani.com)
4. Learned how to solve Rubik’s Cube (best time 3 mins 14 sec)
5. Planned with my Chikka UI team on how to improve our UI skills

Another great news, ricecake’s blog is up (horaaay!), please read his cool posts and listen to his compositions (it will tear your heart out).

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something…

It’s the end of the week and I haven’t got a single clue, not even an inclination, on which path to take. Yes, there are choices but I’m afraid every option has its own pitfall. Choose the lesser evil? I don’t think so. I don’t think I have to decide now, but sooner or later I will. As tiring the week has been, it just got more demanding.

There are really cool people out there who can lift everyone’s spirit just by moving their lips (no, not through hypnosis). Sometimes you hear things that you like and it moves you, in fact when these things happen you deprive yourself from what is really happening. But may I remind you that half the truth is a whole falsehood.

So back to my problems. Here’s my initial thoughts. I need to ask this question over the weekend. Am I happy? (sounds like a joke) And here’s my initial answer, do happy people ask themselves if they’re happy? (guess not)

People can be very optimistic and I myself would love to be like that. When you try to look at things the bright side you often forget there are indeed sides, and one of those sides is the opposite of good. Then you get tricked. So you really need to know how to detect bullshit.

This whole ranting isn’t healthy, I know that. But I guess I just need to say something at the very least, besides it is better to say something and be a fool for five minutes than keep quiet and be a fool forever.

So this ends a week of sadness, sickness and confusion. May the coming week be merrier for you and me. Happy weekend.

My site’s been down the whole morning. Sorry for that. They said they’re just having server scans… that’s a big load of crap… they could have e-mailed.

Today’s Valentines Day, and there’s actually a lot to celebrate about. First, it’s already been a week since I quit smoking (clap clap). Also, this blog is at its tenth day. And finally, heart’s day.

Back in the days (man, was I a wild cat ~ prrr), I always get anxious every time February is coming. Didn’t know what to get for my loved one, and always having second thoughts on what to do… (I just wanted it to be special) Well, here’s a little tip from your * wild cat * cupid.

1. Get her flowers.
   It may sound cliché but there’s something about receiving flowers on Valentines day, concentrate more on how you give it to her.
2. Write her a card and pour your heart on it.
   Again, cliché’s aside, women love to keep memorabilia. I guess reading your letters 5 or so years from now is a neat reminder on how you feel (or you’ve felt) about her.
3. Take her to a dinner and enjoy a little ambiance.
   Giving gifts is just half of showing your love for someone. The other half is spending the day with her.

Yeah right these are all elementary. But they work. For more tips you may visit this link (or this if you’re married). Actually I wanted to share my harem-no-jutsu (ninja guide for love techniques) but I figured I can’t spill it out in the open… maybe on a need-to-know basis (ahaha).

All men are born free but some get married. They say the highest happiness on earth is marriage. Every man who is happily married is a successful man even if he has failed in everything else. Well, I’m married. The happily part is there but I would like to add ever after.

Been sick for a while. I was diagnosed with Acute Pharyngitis which sucks ~ my temperature was 39 degrees all the time (so damn hot), I couldn’t eat (everything tastes bitter), and my head feels like my heart’s beating beside my brain (ever felt that). That could be bad karma for quitting but I’d rather have that than lung cancer.

Anyway, now I’m back and I’ve got a lot of serious things to decide on. A lot has happened while I was gone and I’d like to take those things as signs to start thinking about what I want to do with my life.

In this world there is no security, only opportunity. I’m willing to risk whatever security I’m feeling now for something better in the future even though I’m not sure what it is. I don’t want to just spend my time; I hope I can invest it. There’s no secret to success anyway, have you ever heard of a successful man who never said how he did it?

I’m in the brink of quitting my job. What a quitter. Steve Jobs said “Don’t settle.” What is it about settling that seems so bad? I don’t know, but not all that glitters is gold. So if I’m going to work abroad just for the gold, it may not be worth it (it’s hard to part with my family). If I stay and have what-ifs all the time, that will suck too. How about you what would you do?